You do what to my naked body?!

I got to watch my first embalming that day.  I remember the process perfectly.  We went up to the 'big reefer' (the large refrigerator that held the unembalmed bodies) and chose the correct person whom we received a written consent to embalm on.  At this mortuary we started with a paper toe tag that was placed on the right toe of the deceased.  On that tag we wrote their full name, social security number and place of death.  That had to match with a hospital id band on the patient somewhere and then both of those were matched with the first call sheet in the folder which contained all of the above information.  When we brought them down to the embalming room we untied the plastic we wrapped around them to stop any body fluids that may come out from contaminating things, untied the hospital sheet we had wrapped around them and exposed this frail old person we were about to preserve.  Dressed in only a hospital gown I couldn't imagine the tests we were going to put them through.  This body did not look like the clean made-up wax figure I had seen in the other room.  This person smelled horrible of urine and dirty hair.  Their skin was damp from being inside the plastic sheet and collecting condensation from the reefer, causing their dry skin to become a thin white slim covering parts of their body.  When we removed the hospital gown and Helen grabbed an arm and I grabbed the leg to pull them directly onto the cold stainless-steel table my hands slipped from the slippery gook of dead skin.  We finally got him onto the table and Helen kicked into auto mode.  She turned on a water hose and hooked to to a rubber suction cup affixed to the upper corner of the table.  The water ran down the sides of the deceased to their feet and down a drain at the end of the embalming table.  Helen then began mixing the embalming solution to be used on this case.  Mixing of fluid is really an art.  You have to be able to look and feel the body and see if they are really water logged, you need a strong fluid such as Manhattan that will help dry out the tissues more.  If they seem to be in fairly good shape and have not been deceased long, they use a little lighter strength fluid that will work just fine.  If they look really washed out, maybe a little dye is needed in the fluid to help pink them up more.  The most used formula at our mortuary was 2-1-2, two Triton, one Manhattan and two Chromatech.  After Helen mixed the embalming fluid she turned on her machine to mix it well.  While that was happening she grabbed a disposable scalpel.  A small incision is made just below the clavicle, an aneurysm hook is place in and the hole is stretched out.  Helen pulled up a few straw-looking structures and started explaining to me.  She showed me how the tendons are a little shinny, a vein is blue-colored with blood and the artery is pretty flesh-toned.  She loosely tied two strings around the vein and then isolated the artery.  Two more strings were then tied to the artery and she made a small incision in the artery taking special care not to break it.  A small amount of blood came out and she quickly put a cannula into the hole.  when then took a cannula clamp and made a leak-proof seal around the cannula.  She clamped the other end and then took the embalming machine hose and attached it to the cannula.  With one flip of the switch the game was on.